What does a divorce do?
Divorce does not only affect you financially but also emotionally. It will probably be the worst or the best time of your life, depends on the situation you are in. Very often when you file for a divorce, you build up a tower of expectations around you and then feel depressed when the divorce settlement is completed. To avoid that there a few things that you need to keep in mind when you file for a divorce.
- Do NOT expect that you will win the case
Many times things do not go as per our expectations even when everything seems right and in place. There are things that can go wrong in an instance in the court room. This does not have to do anything with your preparation or your lawyer’s. You never know how you spouse may exploit you in the courtroom. During the time of a divorce hearing, one is going through a lot of pressure and mixed emotions which will make it difficult for you to digest whatever is thrown at you. Instead expect a fully blown-out court battle before you go down that path.
- YOU are getting divorced: your kids aren’t.
It is okay to be angry at your spouse during this time, it really is but saying harsh words and taking out the heat on your spouse in front of your children will have a lasting effect on the children and can make you look bad in front of your kids. Before making any harsh comments or statements just give yourself a good talk and think about it again, whether it’s appropriate or not. You need to understand that if there’s no case of abuse or neglect, your children will continue to have a relationship with your husband/wife. No matter how upset or angry you are, never try to interfere with a healthy parent-child bond.
- Forget the past and start preparing for the ‘Big Future’
If you keep on obsessing and stressing about the past, it will make you more upset about the present and you may feel depressed even more. It will prevent you from focusing on the future and can compromise your judgements as well. Approach and embrace the divorce with the willingness to work for a better future for yourself and your children.
- Be very honest with your lawyer and spouse.
If you are not honest with your lawyer, it will only make it difficult for the attorney to analyse your situation and he/she won’t be able to prepare you well for the case, which may lead to you not being able to answer questions thrown at you in the courtroom.
Similarly you should be honest about everything with your spouse as well. Any miscommunication or wronged information from your end will lead to fingers being pointed towards you, making you look guilty. Not disclosing information or giving out wrong information can also be a contributing factor towards losing the case.
- Have reasonable expectations
Sometimes during the divorce, unrealistic expectations and unreasonable goals are set by either of the spouses. It is important to understand that the law applies to your case as well as your spouse’s. You will not get a settlement overnight and neither will your spouse. You may want to consult multiple attorneys to get clear understanding of your case and understand the best potential outcomes.
- Don’t make important decisions without thinking them through
Many life changing decisions come up when you’re getting divorced. For example you might want to sell your family home, resist the impulse to make a quick decision and bring it up when you feel that the argument can get heated. When making important choices like these, it is essential that you think twice before finalising your own decision. Consider all possible consequences before bringing such topics up or making any such decisions.
- Don’t believe everything people tell you about divorce.
It is true that many people will come to help you in this difficult time and tell you things which you might want to believe that very instant but be careful as situation varies in everyone’s case.