Divorce and legal tips from a lawyer
Recently updated on December 6th, 2023 at 12:17 am
If you really like it, have it. Be it your bungalow or your car, you can always, always negotiate and agree on terms to retain what you want during your divorce. Talk to your spouse and there’s a very good chance for you to retain your favorite belonging.
Utilize your time while meeting with your attorney. Many people get involved in an informal chit chat with the attorney, you are not there to discuss your weekend lives or relationships, for that you may have other friends but when you are with an attorney, spend your time concentrating on legal advice and legal matters, this may not sound very polite but helps you gain better insights within a short period of time.
Think before taking the leap.
Getting divorced or even married is an expensive decision so make it very wisely and with careful considerations. Think and plan rather than think and over react. There will be a bundle of things you might need to take care of before you get served with a divorce. For instance, where will you live? What will happen to the children? How will your assets be divided? Visitation plans for children
Always be the first one to file. So what if you will be called the petitioner? It won’t make you lose anything but in return would help you with lots of tiny things which you may not consider at the time of thinking about filing a divorce. It will help you have control over your issues first, you will always be given the chance on priority if you are the petitioner. The court will read and review your documents first, your lawyer gets a chance to speak first, you tell your first and you get to decide the schedule of hearings too.
Do not assume that temporary orders will always stay temporary, they have a habit of becoming permanent and do not pay attention to statements that say temporary orders are not important or a big deal to worry about, they obviously are a big deal and when you realize that, it’s too late. So be very careful with temporary orders and always take them under serious consideration. If you lose in the first round then what makes you think you will win in round 2? For winning in round 2 you have to convince the judge that he was wrong in round one and give you what you want in round 2. This doesn’t sound like a very good position to be in does it? So to avoid such position, be well prepared and always plan ahead for the hearings, this is why temporary orders are tricky, they make you win or lose rounds with very little margins so carefully understand temporary orders, their repercussions and everything associated with the order.
Think before you speak. Anything you say to your soon to-be ex-spouse can be held admissible against you in ay court. So before saying anything to your soon to-be ex-spouse think very carefully and reconsider every word. Be very planned and thorough before facing your spouse in court. Never write a letter or an email to your spouse specially if you don’t want the judge to read that letter out loud in court, while the divorce is being filed or the case is ongoing. Doing so will put you in a very vulnerable position. It’s not only about letters or emails, anything posted on social media, Facebook etc will put you in a difficult position and can be held out as evidence against you very easily. Opposition is always in search of such material while the case is still on and you don’t want to give them such hostile evidence to get to you that easily. The best way is to refrain from social media because intentionally or unintentionally we tend to make such silly mistakes while go through this rough time.
Do what you already told the court. If you want the court to treat you fairly and give you equal custody rights or time with your kids, do what you already told the judge or your lawyer. This will show your consistency and commitment towards your actions and words and will really help you get what you want. Tempering your words and actions only create doubt windows that are later on not good for you. Don’t delay visitation, don’t even be late, make yourself available and always the willing one to take visitation, remember, take visitation very seriously. This will get you custody rights easily. If you cannot afford the demands of your spouse then don’t go on a vacation or buy a new car during the divorce, keep your lifestyle low key and simple since your spouse will be very happy to show the court that whatever you said earlier in court was just a stance to get what you want and you don’t actually mean it.
Do not lie, at all. This might sound very easy or simple but actually it isn’t when you are under pressure and have money and custody at stake. This might be a difficult position for you to be in but still, do not lie to the court. It might feel easy to bend the truth to get what you want but when the truth is out there, it will surface itself with time. So be patient with the truth and do not lie or tamper your words. If you lie once and get caught, the court will not believe you the next time and will hold you irresponsible and unstable for the rest of the rounds.
Let it be. Once the divorce is done, let it go and move on. You have lost what you have lost. There’s no simple chance or way that it is coming back to you or your spouse is letting you have it easily. So it is better to let go of it once its gone. Do not get yourself under more pressure and deprivation, it will only cause you trouble and pain, your ex-spouse might as well enjoy the situation. You have a life ahead to live, so live it to the fullest and plan on how you are going to spend each day ahead.
Keep everything to yourself. Note that your mouth is the best source of any information you provide to anyone so it’s better to either keep everything to yourself or tell the resources after proper planning and thinking. Consult your attorney for advice on what to tell the resources that will not hold you responsible for your words.
Think very carefully before you remarry. You might not want to go through the same stresses and confusions again. Take your time and think what you want to do with your life now after the divorce. Give yourself some time, relax and gather yourself to decide what you want from your next marriage and then plan. Once you have decided, discuss with your next to-be spouse and be very clear about your previous divorce so they may have an idea what they are getting themselves into.