Domestic violence is defined individually by each state in very specific terms.

The common theme across all states is that domestic violence is abuse or threats of abuse from a spouse, intimate partner, relative, co-parent, or someone you live with.

The domestic violence laws say “abuse” is:

• Physically hurting or trying to hurt someone, intentionally or recklessly;
• Sexual assault;
• Making someone reasonably afraid that they or someone else are about to be seriously hurt (like threats or promises to harm someone); OR
• Behavior like harassing, stalking, threatening, or hitting someone; disturbing someone’s peace; or destroying someone’s personal property.

The U.S. Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women defines domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.  Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.

The court order can restrict your abuser in any of these ways:

• To not contact you and stay away from you (including move out)
• Not have a gun;
• In case you share children, then follow child custody and visitation orders, pay child support,
• In case you were married or a formal domestic union, then pay spousal support
• Help with personal or household items such as
  • Passport or other IDs
  • Cell phone
  • Pets
• A range of financial items such as
  • Pay certain bills
  • Keep insurance policies;
  • Not incur large expenses or do anything significant to affect your or the other person's property if you are married or domestic partners;
  • Release or return certain property; and
• Complete a 52-week batterer intervention program.

A protection order cannot:

• End your marriage or domestic partnership. It is not a divorce.
• Establish parentage (paternity) of your children with the restrained person (if you are not married to, or in a domestic partnership with, him or her)

This is the most important benefit or deterrent for the abuser: state laws make it a crime for a person to violate the court order.  The crime level and charges vary by the state. Here are some examples

Washington 

A violation of either of the following two provisions subjects the abuser to an arrest

1. violating the restraint from causing or threatening harm;
2. entering a residence, workplace or school, the school or daycare of children, or other areas the court has ordered the Respondent to vacate or stay away from.

California 

In California, the abuser can be fined or jailed for violating the protection order. You can talk to your District Attorney for action.  Furthermore, you can file papers in court asking the judge to find the restrained person in “contempt of court” for violating the restraining orders. The restrained person could be punished with 5 days in jail for each violation of the restraining order.

New York

It is a crime called criminal contempt to disobey a temporary or final Order of Protection. This is called a violation of the Order of Protection. Depending on the facts, an abuser can go to jail for up to 7 years if convicted of criminal contempt.

There are no fees for filing for a domestic violence restraining order.

You can prepare the paper work yourself and get assistance from free resources such as victim advocates and pro bono lawyers.

You are not required to but can hire a lawyer.

No, a lawyer is not required.

However, having a lawyer in any legal situation can benefit you.

You can get a temporary restraining order the same day as you file. Courts can close as early as 12:30 p.m. so you need to file before then. Otherwise, the order would be issued the following day when courts open.

Courts are generally open Monday-Friday and closed on Saturday-Sunday.

The temporary order is valid until a formal hearing is held in which both parties need to be present. Typically a hearing is scheduled within 3 weeks of filing.

At the hearing a formal order may be issued.

A Protection Order may be issued for any length of up to five years, depending on the order issued. When the period is nearing completion, you can apply for a renewal for another five years.

We don't have current estimates but just to give an idea, in the U.S. across the year 2008, courts issued an estimated 1.7 million domestic-violence restraining orders

A Protection Order can have several effects on the final divorce agreement.

Firstly, presence of domestic violence does not affect your chances of divorce, a that requires no particular reason. In California, there is no need for faults or any ground for divorce. So even if your spouse is accused of domestic violence, the divorce proceeds as is.

However, a Protection Order can affect

• The accused to move out of the house
• Have limited child custody
• In certain cases be ineligible to receive spousal support (alimony)
• And other effects)