Recently updated on April 26th, 2025 at 10:55 pm

Living with a roommate can be a great way to share expenses and enjoy company, but when one of the roommates is abusive, it can seriously the mental and physical well being of the victims. In California, roommate harassment can be addressed through a Civil Harassment Restraining Order (CHRO), which offers legal protections even when the individuals involved are not family members or romantic partners. This article explores how California law approaches roommate harassment and how a CHRO can help.

Types of Roommate Harassment

Harassment by a roommate can take many forms. The law defines harassment broadly to include:

• Verbal abuse or threats: Constant yelling, intimidation, or threats of violence.
• Physical violence or intimidation: Any unwanted physical contact or threatening gestures.
• Stalking: Repeatedly following, monitoring, or appearing uninvited.
• Sexual harassment: Unwanted sexual advances, lewd comments, or gestures.
• Invasion of privacy: Going through your belongings, recording you without consent, or monitoring your movements.
• Emotional or psychological abuse: Manipulation, gaslighting, or other forms of mental torment.

 

Examples of Roommate Harassment

1. Threats of Violence

If your roommate makes serious threats to physically harm you, this can qualify for a CHRO. For example, they might say things like, “I’ll kill you if you don’t move out,” or threaten you with violence during arguments. Even if they haven’t followed through, repeated verbal threats can be grounds for a restraining order, especially if they cause fear or anxiety.

2. Physical Assault or Attempts

Any act of physical aggression, including pushing, hitting, grabbing, or throwing objects, is considered harassment. Even attempting to harm you, such as lunging at you, cornering you, or trying to prevent you from leaving a room, can qualify as harassment and may warrant legal protection.

3. Stalking or Intimidation

If your roommate follows you around your home, stands outside your bedroom door for long periods, or watches and records you without your consent, these actions could be considered stalking or intimidation. Harassment also includes behaviors that make you feel watched, unsafe, or emotionally terrorized in your own living space.

4. Sexual Harassment

Sexual comments, unwelcome touching, lewd gestures, or exposing oneself are all forms of sexual harassment. If your roommate engages in any sexually aggressive or inappropriate behavior toward you, especially after being told to stop, this is serious harassment that can be addressed with a CHRO.

5. Verbal Harassment and Emotional Abuse

Constant yelling, name-calling, or making cruel and targeted remarks can cause serious emotional distress. If your roommate frequently insults your appearance, intelligence, background, or identity, and these actions make it difficult to live peacefully, you may be eligible for a CHRO.

6. Invasion of Privacy

Repeatedly entering your room without permission, especially when you are not home, is a violation of privacy. If your roommate goes through your belongings, takes or damages your personal items, or tampers with things in your room, it can create an unsafe and hostile environment and may justify court protection.

7. Harassing Messages or Social Media Abuse

Sending repeated, hostile, or threatening messages through texts, emails, or social media can be a form of harassment. If your roommate posts harmful, embarrassing, or private information about you online, this can also be considered cyber harassment and used as evidence in a CHRO petition.

8. False Reports or Legal Manipulation

If your roommate files false complaints or calls the police on you without cause as a way to intimidate or punish you, this can be viewed as harassment. Repeatedly using legal or administrative systems to target or threaten you unfairly may be enough to seek a restraining order.

When is a Civil Harassment Restraining Order (CHRO) Helpful

A Civil Harassment Restraining Order (CHRO) is especially helpful in roommate harassment situations when the behavior becomes serious, repeated, and emotionally distressing, and when informal solutions (like conversations, mediation, or property management involvement) haven’t worked or aren’t safe to pursue.

Here’s when a CHRO can be helpful in a roommate harassment situation:

1. When You Fear for Your Safety

If your roommate has threatened you, physically harmed you, or made you feel unsafe in your own home, a CHRO can legally prohibit them from coming near you or contacting you. It can offer immediate relief through a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) while your case is reviewed.

2. When the Harassment is Ongoing and Severe

A CHRO can help when your roommate’s behavior isn’t just annoying but crosses the line into serious harassment — like stalking, intimidation, verbal abuse, sexual harassment, or constant surveillance. If their actions cause you substantial emotional distress or interfere with your ability to live peacefully, a CHRO is a strong legal tool to set boundaries.

3. When You Need Legal Protection While Sharing a Lease or Home

If you’re still living with your harasser, a CHRO can establish strict rules like no contact, no entering your room, or no interference with your personal space. In some cases, it can lead to the court ordering the person to move out, though this can depend on lease and tenant laws, so you may want legal guidance if you share a lease.

4. When the Harassment Continues After They Move Out

Even after a roommate has moved out, a CHRO can help if they continue harassing you through texts, emails, social media, or by showing up at your home or workplace. The restraining order can legally force them to stop contacting you or coming near you.

5. When You Want Documentation and Enforcement

A CHRO creates a formal legal record that the harassment occurred, which can help you in related situations like breaking a lease or requesting a relocation, or filing a police report or requesting additional legal help or services (like counseling or victim advocacy).

How a Civil Harassment Restraining Order Helps

A Civil Harassment Restraining Order is designed to protect individuals from harassment, stalking, and abuse by someone who is not closely related or a former romantic partner. A CHRO can:

• Legally prohibit the harasser from contacting you or coming near you.
• Restrict them from being in your home or workplace.
• Require them to stay a certain distance away from you.
• Offer peace of mind through enforceable boundaries.

Does a Roommate Have to Move Out?

A CHRO can include a “stay-away” order that may require the harassing roommate to move out, especially if the court deems it necessary for your safety. However, the court considers:

• Who’s on the lease
• The nature of the harassment
• Available alternative housing options for both parties

Courts generally prioritize safety over lease agreements in these cases, though the specifics may vary.

What If My Roommate Is the Landlord?

When the harasser is also your landlord (such as in a shared housing or in-law unit situation), the issue becomes more complex. A CHRO can still be issued, but you may also want to explore:

• Tenant protections under California housing laws
• Filing a complaint with local housing authorities
• Seeking legal counsel to navigate potential eviction or retaliation concerns

How to Get a CHRO

1. Fill Out the Forms: You’ll need to complete Form CH-100 (Request for Civil Harassment Restraining Orders) and related forms.
2. File With the Court: Submit the forms to your local California Superior Court.
3. Get a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO): If approved, this offers immediate protection until the hearing.
4. Serve the Papers: The harasser must be officially notified (not by you).
5. Attend the Hearing: A judge will review the evidence and decide whether to grant a longer-term restraining order.

Limitations of a CHRO

While powerful, a CHRO has limitations:

• It doesn’t guarantee the harasser will comply.
• Enforcement depends on police availability and willingness.
• It doesn’t directly resolve housing or lease disputes.
• It may take time and emotional energy to pursue.

Common Questions About Roommate Harassment and CHROs

1. Can I get a CHRO if my roommate hasn’t physically hurt me?

Yes. Harassment includes threats, stalking, and emotional abuse—not just physical violence.

2. What if we both are on the lease?

The court may still order the harassing roommate to stay away or even move out, especially if your safety is at risk.

3. Do I need a lawyer to get a CHRO?

Not necessarily, but legal help can make the process easier. Free legal aid is often available.

4. What if the harassment is subtle or hard to prove?

Keep a detailed log of incidents, save texts/emails, and gather any witness statements. These can help establish a pattern.

5. Can I break my lease if I’m being harassed?

Possibly. California law may allow lease termination in cases involving harassment or unsafe living conditions. Check your local tenant rights.

6. Will the restraining order affect the harasser’s record?

Yes. A CHRO is a court order and can appear on background checks.

7. Can I get a CHRO if my roommate is emotionally abusive but not violent?

Yes. Emotional abuse can qualify as harassment if it causes substantial emotional distress.

8. How long does a CHRO last?

If granted, it can last up to five years. You can request an extension before it expires.

9. Can I call the police if my roommate violates the CHRO?

Absolutely. Violating a CHRO is a criminal offense and should be reported.

10. What if I feel unsafe during the court process?

You can request a temporary restraining order for immediate protection, and court staff can assist with safety planning.

 

Conclusion

Roommate harassment is more common than many realize, and it can deeply affect your sense of safety and well-being. California law provides pathways like the Civil Harassment Restraining Order to help you take back control. Knowing your rights—and the steps to enforce them—can make all the difference.