What can I do if my Boyfriend Breaks the Restraining Order
Recently updated on June 7th, 2025 at 08:04 am
Restraining Order Overview: Domestic Violence Restraining Order
Domestic Violence Restraining Order is a kind of restraining order in California for domestic situations involving current or ex-boyfriends or even someone you briefly dated. It is governed by the California state law (as opposed to US Federal Law). The formal name and fine print of restraining orders varies from state to state but the basic idea is the same: a judge issues an order to an abuser to stay away from and not contact their victim who the abuser is harassing, abusing, threatening, stalking, or physically hurting. In other words it’s a last legal warning to stay away or else face criminal charges. If the abuser disobeys the restraining order, then the abuser can be formally charged with committing a crime and can be jailed.
Different types of restraining orders apply in situations of domestic violence, stalking, harassment, or situations where there is a credible threat to an individual’s safety.
If a person believes their situation qualifies for restraining order as defined in California Civil Code, they can apply for one through the Superior Court in their county of residence. The process involves filing a set of standard court forms, attending a hearing, and presenting evidence to support the request for the order.
Definition of Domestic Violence in California
Ann.Cal.Fam.Code § 6211“Domestic violence” is abuse perpetrated against any of the following persons:
- A spouse or former spouse.
- A cohabitant or former cohabitant, as defined in Section 6209.
- A person with whom the respondent is having or has had a dating or engagement relationship.
- A person with whom the respondent has had a child, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child of the female parent under the Uniform Parentage Act (Part 3 (commencing with Section 7600) of Division 12).
- A child of a party or a child who is the subject of an action under the Uniform Parentage Act, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child to be protected.
- Any other person related by consanguinity or affinity within the second degree.
Is a restraining order helpful?
The purpose of a restraining order is to restrict the contact or proximity of one person (the respondent or alleged perpetrator) to another person (the petitioner or victim) in order to ensure the safety and well-being of the petitioner.
The specific terms of a restraining order can vary depending on the circumstances of the case e.g. if the people live together then it might require one party to vacate the place.
Typically, a restraining order may prohibit the respondent from
- Approaching or contacting the petitioner including via text or social media
- Staying away from the usual places petitioner is at such as home, work or school
- Prohibit stalking, or surveillance of any kind
- In situations where they lived together, provide custody or access to
- Children
- Pets
- Important documents
- Personal items such as clothes, medications, cell phones
- Cars
- Extending the protections to others living with the petitioner
Research findings on benefits of restraining orders
Here’s the top three findings from a study on domestic violence and restraining orders from the University of New Hampshire
Reduce Violence
Civil protective orders (such as a DVRO) are effective in reducing partner violence for many women. For half the women in the sample, a protective order stopped the violence. For the other half, the orders significantly reduced violence and abuse.
Cost Effective
They are a relatively low-cost solution, particularly when compared with the social and personal costs of partner violence.
Urban Vs. Rural
The impact of civil protective orders on reducing violence and abuse did not differ for rural and urban women. In rural areas where resources and services for partner violence may be more limited, the restraining orders hold greater importance.
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