Last Updated December 22, 2025

What can I do if my Boyfriend Breaks the Restraining Order

Recently updated on December 22nd, 2025 at 11:06 am

Outline

Overview

If your boyfriend breaks the restraining order, it’s important to take swift and decisive action to ensure your safety and hold him accountable. Call the police immediately, document the violation, and report it to the court. You may also want to seek legal counsel for further protection and to understand your options moving forward. California law takes violations of restraining orders very seriously, and the consequences can include criminal charges, fines, and jail time.

Options

Here’s what you should do:

1. Call the Police Immediately

Immediate Action: If your boyfriend breaks the restraining order (e.g., by contacting you, showing up at your home, or engaging in any prohibited behavior), call 911 or your local police department right away.
Show the Order: When the police arrive, show them a copy of the restraining order (it’s helpful to always carry a copy with you). This will allow law enforcement to confirm the violation.
Law Enforcement Action: The police can arrest your boyfriend for violating the restraining order, as it is a criminal offense in California. Violating a restraining order is typically considered a misdemeanor, but in some cases, it can be charged as a felony, especially if the violation involves violence or multiple violations.

2. Document the Violation

Keep Records: Write down the details of the violation, including the date, time, location, and what occurred. If there were witnesses, note their names and contact information.
Gather Evidence: If the violation involves phone calls, text messages, emails, or social media contact, save all communications as evidence. Photos, video recordings, or any other physical proof of the violation are also important to document.
Witness Statements: If someone witnessed the violation, ask them to write a statement describing what they saw.

3. Report the Violation to the Court

File a Report with the Court: After reporting the violation to the police, you can file a report with the court that issued the restraining order. This is typically done through a contempt of court filing, which informs the court that the restraining order was violated.
Court Hearing: The court may schedule a hearing to address the violation. If found in contempt of court, your boyfriend could face additional legal penalties.

4. Seek Legal Advice

Consult an Attorney: If your boyfriend repeatedly violates the restraining order or if the violation involves serious threats or violence, it’s important to seek legal advice. An attorney can help you file for stronger legal protections or assist in taking further legal action.
Modify the Restraining Order: If necessary, you can request to modify the restraining order to include additional protections (e.g., increased distance, stricter no-contact provisions).

5. Request Enhanced Protection

Emergency Protective Order (EPO): If the violation places you in immediate danger, you can ask the police to help you obtain an Emergency Protective Order. This can provide additional protections while the police investigate the violation.
Criminal Protective Order: If the violation leads to criminal charges, the court may issue a Criminal Protective Order, which is typically stricter and can last for the duration of the criminal case.

6. Seek Safety and Support

Stay in a Safe Location: If you feel that your safety is at risk, consider staying with a friend, family member, or in a safe location. If you need immediate protection, there are domestic violence shelters and hotlines available for support.
Counseling and Support Services: Many organizations offer support, counseling, and safety planning for individuals experiencing domestic violence or restraining order violations. Reach out to local domestic violence shelters or hotlines for assistance.

Consequences for Violating a Restraining Order

Misdemeanor Charges: The first violation of a restraining order is typically charged as a misdemeanor. This can result in:
- Up to one year in county jail.
- Fines up to $1,000.
- Possible probation.
Felony Charges: If the violation involves violence or there are repeated violations, it can be charged as a felony, which may result in:
- Up to three years in state prison.
- More severe fines.
Criminal Record: Any violation of a restraining order, whether misdemeanor or felony, will result in a criminal record for the violator.

Restraining Order Overview: Domestic Violence Restraining Order

Domestic Violence Restraining Order is a kind of restraining order in California for domestic situations involving current or ex-boyfriends or even someone you briefly dated. It is governed by the California state law (as opposed to US Federal Law). The formal name and fine print of restraining orders varies from state to state but the basic idea is the same: a judge issues an order to an abuser to stay away from and not contact their victim who the abuser is harassing, abusing, threatening, stalking, or physically hurting. In other words it’s a last legal warning to stay away or else face criminal charges. If the abuser disobeys the restraining order, then the abuser can be formally charged with committing a crime and can be jailed.

Different types of restraining orders apply in situations of domestic violence, stalking, harassment, or situations where there is a credible threat to an individual’s safety.

If a person believes their situation qualifies for restraining order as defined in California Civil Code, they can apply for one through the Superior Court in their county of residence. The process involves filing a set of standard court forms, attending a hearing, and presenting evidence to support the request for the order.

Definition of Domestic Violence in California

Ann.Cal.Fam.Code § 6211“Domestic violence” is abuse perpetrated against any of the following persons:

A spouse or former spouse.
A cohabitant or former cohabitant, as defined in Section 6209.
A person with whom the respondent is having or has had a dating or engagement relationship.
A person with whom the respondent has had a child, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child of the female parent under the Uniform Parentage Act (Part 3 (commencing with Section 7600) of Division 12).
A child of a party or a child who is the subject of an action under the Uniform Parentage Act, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child to be protected.
Any other person related by consanguinity or affinity within the second degree.

Is a restraining order helpful?

The purpose of a restraining order is to restrict the contact or proximity of one person (the respondent or alleged perpetrator) to another person (the petitioner or victim) in order to ensure the safety and well-being of the petitioner.

The specific terms of a restraining order can vary depending on the circumstances of the case e.g. if the people live together then it might require one party to vacate the place.

Typically, a restraining order may prohibit the respondent from

Approaching or contacting the petitioner including via text or social media
Staying away from the usual places petitioner is at such as home, work or school
Prohibit stalking, or surveillance of any kind
In situations where they lived together, provide custody or access to
- Children
- Pets
- Important documents
- Personal items such as clothes, medications, cell phones
- Cars
Extending the protections to others living with the petitioner

Research findings on benefits of restraining orders

Here’s the top three findings from a study on domestic violence and restraining orders from the University of New Hampshire

Reduce Violence

Civil protective orders (such as a DVRO) are effective in reducing partner violence for many women. For half the women in the sample, a protective order stopped the violence. For the other half, the orders significantly reduced violence and abuse.

Cost Effective

They are a relatively low-cost solution, particularly when compared with the social and personal costs of partner violence.

Urban Vs. Rural

The impact of civil protective orders on reducing violence and abuse did not differ for rural and urban women. In rural areas where resources and services for partner violence may be more limited, the restraining orders hold greater importance.

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Posted in California