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What will happen to our children if I get a restraining order against their father

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Recently updated on April 27th, 2025 at 02:41 am

Overview


Domestic Violence Restraining Order is a kind of restraining order in California for domestic situations. It is governed by the California state law (as opposed to US Federal Law). The formal name and fine print of restraining orders varies from state to state but the basic idea is the same: a judge issues an order to an abuser to stay away from and not contact their victim who the abuser is harassing, abusing, threatening, stalking, or physically hurting.  In other words it’s a last legal warning to stay away or else face criminal charges. If the abuser disobeys the restraining order, then the abuser can be formally charged with committing a crime and can be jailed.

If you file for a restraining order against your ex in California, the court will address all aspects of child custody, child support  and parenting for the children.  As the victim you can request the judge to include the following orders by marking the appropriate checkboxes in the court forms:

  • Restrictions on Travel with Children
  • Restrictions on Access to Children’s Education, Health or Other Records
  • Preventive Measures for Kidnapping
  • Custody
  • Visitation

If a person believes their situation qualifies for restraining order as defined in California Civil Code, they can apply for one through the Superior Court in their county of residence. The process involves filing a set of standard court forms, attending a hearing, and presenting evidence to support the request for the order.

 

Restrict Abuser’s Travel with Children


In California, as part of a domestic violence restraining order (DVRO), you can request specific travel restrictions for your shared children to ensure their safety and well-being. The court has the authority to impose these restrictions based on the circumstances of the case. Here are some common types of travel restrictions you might consider asking for:

  • Supervised Visitation: You can request that the other parent’s visitation with the children be supervised by a professional or another designated adult, which may include travel restrictions during these visitations.
  • No Out-of-State or Out-of-Country Travel: You can ask the court to prohibit the other parent from taking the children out of California or the country without your consent or a court order.
  • Surrender of Passports: To prevent the other parent from taking the children out of the country, you can request that the children’s passports be surrendered to the court or a third party.
  • Specific Pickup and Drop-off Locations: You can ask for specific locations for pickup and drop-off of the children to minimize contact and ensure the children’s safety during exchanges.
  • Notification Requirements: You may request that the other parent notify you in advance of any travel plans with the children, including details about destinations, accommodations, and itineraries.
  • Emergency Orders: If there’s an immediate threat, you can request an emergency order that restricts the other parent’s ability to take the children anywhere outside of a specific geographic area.

The court will consider the best interests of the children when deciding whether to grant these requests. It’s essential to present evidence and reasons why these restrictions are necessary to protect your children.

Restrict Access to School, Health and Other Records


As part of a domestic violence restraining order (DVRO) in California, you can request specific restrictions on the other parent’s access to your shared children’s education, health, or other records to protect the children’s safety and privacy. Here are the types of restrictions you might consider:

Restricted Access to Education Records

  • No Access to School Records: You can ask the court to prohibit the other parent from accessing the children’s school records, including report cards, attendance records, and disciplinary reports.
  • No Contact with School You may request that the other parent be prohibited from contacting the children’s school directly or from visiting the school without prior approval.
  • Restricted Information Sharing: You can ask the court to order the school to withhold information about the children’s school activities, schedules, or events from the other parent.

Restricted Access to Health Records

  • No Access to Medical Records You can request that the other parent be denied access to the children’s medical, dental, or psychological records, including information about appointments, treatments, and medications.
  • Limited Information on Health Care: You may ask that the other parent be restricted from obtaining information about the children’s health care providers or any ongoing treatments.
  • Prohibition on Decision-Making: You can ask the court to limit or revoke the other parent’s decision-making authority regarding the children’s health care, ensuring they cannot make appointments or consent to treatments.

 

Restricted Access to Other Records

  • No Access to Extracurricular Records: You can request restrictions on the other parent’s access to records or information related to the children’s extracurricular activities, such as sports, clubs, or lessons.
  • No Access to Legal Records: You might ask the court to restrict the other parent’s access to any legal records involving the children, such as guardianship or custody records.

Notification Requirements

Notification of Any Changes: You can request that you be notified immediately if the other parent attempts to access any of the children’s records without authorization.

School and Healthcare Providers’ Cooperation

Court Orders to Institutions:  You may request that the court order schools, doctors, and other relevant institutions to comply with these restrictions and not release any information to the other parent.

These restrictions are designed to protect the children from potential harm or manipulation by the other parent in a domestic violence situation. The court will evaluate the necessity of these restrictions based on the evidence presented and the best interests of the children.

Measure to Prevent Child Abduction


In California, as part of a domestic violence restraining order (DVRO), you can request specific orders to prevent the other parent from abducting your shared children. The court has the authority to implement several measures to reduce the risk of child abduction. Here are some of the orders you can request:

Passport Restrictions

  • Surrender of Passports Similar to travel restrictions you can ask the court to order the other parent to surrender the children’s passports to the court or another designated person, preventing them from taking the children out of the country.
  • No Issuance of New Passports Request that the court order the other parent not to apply for new or replacement passports for the children.

Travel Restrictions aimed at Preventing Abduction

  • No Out-of-State or Out-of-Country Travel: You can request that the court prohibit the other parent from taking the children out of the state or country without your written consent or a court order.
  • Supervised Visitation Only: Request that any visitation the other parent has with the children be supervised to prevent the opportunity for abduction during visits.

Placement on the California Child Abduction Registry

  • California Child Abduction Prevention Program: You can ask the court to place the children on the California Child Abduction Registry, which alerts law enforcement and other authorities to the risk of abduction.

Bond Posting

  • Require the Other Parent to Post a Bond:  You can request that the other parent post a financial bond that they would forfeit if they attempt to abduct the children. This serves as a financial deterrent.

Custody and Visitation Orders

  • Temporary Sole Custody: Request temporary sole legal and physical custody of the children to limit the other parent’s ability to make decisions or take the children without permission.
  • Restricted or Supervised Visitation: Limit the other parent’s visitation rights to supervised visits only, or ask that their visitation be restricted to specific locations where abduction risk is minimized.
  • Law Enforcement Notification Order for Law Enforcement Assistance Request that the court issue an order allowing law enforcement to intervene immediately if there is a concern that the other parent is attempting to abduct the children.
  • Alert Local Authorities: You can ask the court to notify local police, airports, and border patrols about the abduction risk to prevent the other parent from fleeing with the children.
  • Restricted Communication and Contact Limited Contact with the Children:** You can request that the other parent’s communication with the children be limited or monitored to prevent them from convincing or coercing the children into leaving with them.

Specific Prohibitions

No Unauthorized School Pick-ups: You can ask the court to prohibit the other parent from picking up the children from school or daycare without prior written consent.

Prohibit the Other Parent from Relocating: Request an order that prevents the other parent from moving the children out of their current city or county without your consent or a court order.

Issuance of an Amber Alert:  Pre-Authorize Amber Alert: In some cases, you can ask the court to pre-authorize the issuance of an Amber Alert if the other parent attempts to abduct the children.

These preventive measures are designed to ensure the safety and well-being of the children and to prevent the risk of abduction by the other parent. The court will evaluate the specific risks in your case and determine which orders are necessary and appropriate.

Request for Child Custody


In California, as part of a domestic violence restraining order (DVRO), you can request various child custody orders to protect your children and ensure their well-being. The court takes domestic violence allegations seriously and will consider them when determining custody arrangements. Here are the types of custody orders you can request:

Temporary Sole Legal and Physical Custody

  • Sole Legal Custody: You can request temporary sole legal custody, which gives you the exclusive right to make important decisions about your children’s health, education, and welfare.
  • Sole Physical Custody: You can request temporary sole physical custody, meaning the children will live with you full-time, and the other parent will have limited or no visitation rights.

Supervised Visitation

  • Supervised Visitation: You can ask the court to order that the other parent’s visitation with the children be supervised by a professional supervisor or another designated adult. This is often requested when there are concerns about the children’s safety during visits.
  • Visitation Center: You may request that visitation take place at a designated visitation center where professional staff can monitor the visits.

No Visitation or Restricted Visitation

  • No Visitation: In cases where the other parent poses a significant threat to the children’s safety or well-being, you can request that the court deny visitation altogether.
  • Restricted Visitation: You can ask the court to limit the other parent’s visitation rights, such as by restricting visits to specific days, times, or locations, or by requiring that visits be short and infrequent.

Exchange Arrangements

  • Safe Exchange Locations: You can request that exchanges of the children between parents occur in a safe, neutral location, such as a police station or a supervised visitation center, to minimize conflict and ensure safety.
  • Third-Party Exchanges: You may ask that a third party, such as a relative or friend, handle the exchange of the children to avoid direct contact with the other parent.

Emergency Temporary Custody Orders:

  • Emergency Custody Order If there is an immediate threat to the children’s safety, you can request an emergency temporary custody order, granting you immediate custody and suspending the other parent’s custody or visitation rights until a full hearing can be held.

No Contact Orders:

  • No Contact with the Children In severe cases, you can request that the other parent be prohibited from any form of contact with the children, including phone calls, texts, or social media.

Temporary Move-Away Orders:

  • Temporary Relocation: If you need to relocate with the children to a safer location due to domestic violence, you can request a temporary move-away order allowing you to move out of the area or state with the children.

Modification of Existing Custody Orders:

  • Modify Existing Custody Orders: If there is already a custody order in place, you can request that the court modify it in light of the domestic violence issues, such as by changing custody from joint to sole or adjusting visitation schedules.

Decision-Making Authority on Specific Issues:

  • Exclusive Decision-Making: You can request exclusive decision-making authority on specific issues related to the children, such as medical care, education, or religious practices, to ensure the other parent does not interfere.

Order to Attend Parenting or Anger Management Classes:

  • Parenting Classes: You can ask the court to order the other parent to attend parenting classes or anger management classes as a condition for maintaining or reinstating visitation rights.

These custody orders are designed to prioritize the safety and well-being of the children while considering the impact of domestic violence on the family. The court will evaluate the circumstances of the case and the evidence presented to determine the appropriate custody arrangements.

 Child Visitation as Part of Restraining Order


In California, as part of a domestic violence restraining order (DVRO), you can request specific child visitation orders to protect your children and ensure their safety during visits with the other parent. The court considers the best interests of the child and the impact of domestic violence when determining visitation arrangements. Here are the types of child visitation orders you can request:

Supervised Visitation

  • Professional Supervision: You can request that the other parent’s visitation be supervised by a professional supervisor to ensure the children’s safety during the visit.
  • Third-Party Supervision: You may ask for visitation to be supervised by a trusted family member, friend, or another designated third party.
  • Supervised Visitation Centers You can request that visits take place at a supervised visitation center, where trained staff can monitor the interactions between the other parent and the children.
  • No Visitation

Denial of Visitation

  • If you believe that any form of contact with the other parent poses a significant risk to the children’s safety or well-being, you can request that the court deny visitation altogether.

Restricted Visitation

  • Limited Visitation Time You can ask the court to limit the duration and frequency of the other parent’s visitation. For example, you might request that visits be brief or occur only on specific days.
  • Daytime Only Visits You can request that visitation be restricted to daytime hours, avoiding overnight stays if you are concerned about the children’s safety during extended visits.

Safe Exchange Locations

  • Neutral Exchange Locations You can request that the exchange of the children between parents occur in a safe, neutral location, such as a police station, supervised visitation center, or other public place.
  • Third-Party Exchanges: You may ask that a third party, such as a relative or friend, handle the exchange of the children to minimize direct contact between you and the other parent.

Therapeutic Visitation

  • Therapeutic Supervised Visits: You can request that visitation be supervised by a mental health professional, who can provide therapeutic support during the visits and monitor the interactions for signs of emotional or psychological harm.
  • Mandatory Counseling or Therapy: You might ask the court to require the other parent to attend counseling or therapy as a condition of visitation, especially if there are concerns about their behavior or the impact of domestic violence on the children.

Monitored Communication

  • Monitored Phone or Video Calls: If in-person visits are not safe, you can request that the other parent’s communication with the children be limited to monitored phone calls or video chats.

Specific Conditions on Visitation

  • Sobriety Requirements: You can request that the other parent must be sober during visitation and might ask for random drug or alcohol testing as a condition for visits.
  • Behavioral Conditions: You can ask the court to set specific behavioral conditions for visitation, such as prohibiting the other parent from discussing certain topics or acting in a way that might frighten or harm the children.

Temporary Suspension of Visitation

  • Suspension Pending Evaluation:  If you believe the children are in immediate danger, you can request a temporary suspension of visitation until the court has time to fully evaluate the situation.

Reunification Counseling

  • Reunification Therapy: In cases where visitation has been suspended or limited, you can request that reunification counseling be required before regular visitation resumes. This therapy is designed to gradually and safely reintroduce the other parent into the children’s lives.

Specific Visitation Schedules

  • Detailed Visitation Schedule: You can ask the court to establish a specific visitation schedule that minimizes the risk of conflict and ensures the children’s routines are maintained. This schedule can include details like specific days, times, and locations for visits.

These visitation orders aim to protect the children from potential harm while allowing safe and appropriate contact with the other parent if it is in the children’s best interests. The court will consider the severity of the domestic violence, the children’s needs, and any evidence presented when deciding on these requests.

 

Definition of Domestic Violence in California


Ann.Cal.Fam.Code § 6211“Domestic violence” is abuse perpetrated against any of the following persons:

  1. A spouse or former spouse.
  2. A cohabitant or former cohabitant, as defined in Section 6209.
  3. A person with whom the respondent is having or has had a dating or engagement relationship.
  4. A person with whom the respondent has had a child, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child of the female parent under the Uniform Parentage Act (Part 3 (commencing with Section 7600) of Division 12).
  5. A child of a party or a child who is the subject of an action under the Uniform Parentage Act, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child to be protected.
  6. Any other person related by consanguinity or affinity within the second degree.

 

California Code, Family Code – FAM § 6203

(a) For purposes of this act, “abuse” means any of the following:

(1) To intentionally or recklessly cause or attempt to cause bodily injury.

(2) Sexual assault.

(3) To place a person in reasonable apprehension of imminent serious bodily injury to that person or to another.

(4) To engage in any behavior that has been or could be enjoined pursuant to Section 6320.

(b) Abuse is not limited to the actual infliction of physical injury or assault.

The original text is here

 

Comparison with Criminal Case

If you’re a victims of domestic violence, then you can file the following legal cases:

  • Criminal Case: In a criminal case, the burden of proof is beyond a reasonable doubt, the highest burden of proof.
  • Domestic Violence Restraining Order : This is considered a family law case, and the victim has to give some evidence and generally the burden is low and the victim must establish “reasonable proof of a past act or acts of abuse.” Cal. Family Code § 6300.For Domestic Violence Restraining Order, you just need evidence to support that abuse occurred which is defined as bodily injury or fear that you will get bodily injury.The legal language is in California Penal Code 13700: “intentionally or recklessly causing or attempting to cause bodily injury, or placing another person in reasonable apprehension of imminent serious bodily injury to himself or herself, or another.”

 

The court considers accusations of abuse leniently, and favors on issuing orders as long as there is some evidence.

 

Does my situation qualify for Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO)


Here’s a summary of the different types of restraining orders.  There are a few different types of restraining orders and typically only one of them may apply to your situation. The first step is to see if any of the different types of restraining order applies to your situation or is remotely related as that might help you decide whether to apply .

The types are:

Domestic Violence is for situations involving domestic violence which is when a victim has been abused by a romantic partner (spouse, domestic partner, girlfriend/boyfriend) or a family member. For a complete overview of what is domestic violence please review: What is the legal definition of Domestic Violence in California

 

Civil harassment applies to situations involving repeated irritating behavior, stalking, abuse, or threatened by someone you are not as close to as is required under domestic violence cases, like a roommate, a neighbor, or more distant family members like cousins, aunts or uncles, or nieces or nephews.

 

Elder Abuse: A senior citizen (or an adult who cannot function independently) is being abused by a caretaker, neighbor or child .

 

 

Gun Violence: Typically, a police officer or sheriff who thinks someone might hurt themselves or someone else with a gun. This can stop that person from buying or owning a gun. It can’t order them to stay away from someone.

 

Workplace Violence: An employer usually requests these to protect their employee(s) from a person who has stalked, harassed, been violent or threatened violence at the workplace.

 

 

School Violence involves violence, or threat of, against one or more students of a private postsecondary (after high school) school. This type of restraining order may only be granted if the threat of violence is for an act that would likely take place on the school’s campus, and is requested by school official.

 

What if I am Under 18 years of Age

Restraining orders can be requested by anyone 12 years or older, and without your parent’s permission.  If you are under 18, then in some situations , a judge may ask you to have a trusted adult help you in your case after you have filed for the petition. such as a parent a counselor or a neighbor.

If you are under 18, you can go to your local court’s Self-Help Center for help. For support and safety tips, you can chat at loveisrespect.org, text “LOVEIS” to 22522, or call 1-866-331-9474.

If you are 12 or older and someone has asked for a restraining order against you, you can go to court without a parent. In some situations, the judge may ask you to have a trusted adult help you in your case.

Situation Examples

Example 1:  Husband is sexually and verbally abusive, and controlling  

My husband doesn’t allow me the option to say no to sex, and often that warning is not explicit but I know bad things will happen if I say no such as bullying, threats and immense tension. As a couple we have been having sex everyday for nearly two decades now.  He verbally abuses me by calling me a whore if I don’t sleep with him.  During this time he is intoxicated so I am fearful of having a discussion as his anger will quickly get out of control, and he will hurl things at home thereby inducing more fear in me. Such behavior has been going on for over a decade now so I am not sure about the date of the first incident now. One day I very carefully chose my words and mentioned that maybe we are not a right fit, and should seek counseling. He was enraged and threated me that he will utterly destroy me, my work reputation, and expose some minor things I did to the immigration authorities.  Since about six months, I have been sleeping in a separate room. He comes there routinely and tries to sleep with me forcefully.   Often times I feel that if I resist, or decline his advances that my reputation, our property, or even me life will me in danger.  I feel little, humiliated and disgusted with myself.

 

Example 2:  Boyfriend blackmails and destroys property to control and induce fear

Today, Michael was armed with a pistol and seemed to be under the influence of an unidentified substance. He made threats to create false narratives with the aim of jeopardizing my 28-year accounting career, stating he would falsely accuse me of engaging in illegal financial activities. His menacing statement, “if you mess with me, I’ll retaliate,” was accompanied by destructive actions, such as damaging property in my home, including creating a hole in the wall. Michael’s behavior becomes particularly alarming when he is under the influence of drugs.

 

Example 3: Ex-boyfriend stalks 

Jenna’s ex-boyfriend shows up at Jenna’s work unexpectedly and drives around. Jenna is fearful, and had earlier clearly asked him to leave her alone.

Is a restraining order helpful?


The purpose of a restraining order is to restrict the contact or proximity of one person (the respondent or alleged perpetrator) to another person (the petitioner or victim) in order to ensure the safety and well-being of the petitioner.

The specific terms of a restraining order can vary depending on the circumstances of the case e.g. if the people live together then it might require one party to vacate the place.

Typically, a restraining order may prohibit the respondent from

  1. Approaching or contacting the petitioner including via text or social media
  2. Staying away from the usual places petitioner is at such as home, work or school
  3. Prohibit stalking, or surveillance of any kind
  4. In situations where they lived together, provide custody or access to
    • Children
    • Pets
    • Important documents
    • Personal items such as clothes, medications, cell phones
    • Cars
  5. Extending the protections to others living with the petitioner

Research findings on benefits of restraining orders

Here’s the top three findings from a study on domestic violence and restraining orders from the University of New Hampshire

Reduce ViolenceReduce Violence

Civil protective orders (such as a DVRO) are effective in reducing partner violence for many women. For half the women in the sample, a protective order stopped the violence. For the other half, the orders significantly reduced violence and abuse.

Cost Effective

Cost Effective

They are a relatively low-cost solution, particularly when compared with the social and personal costs of partner violence.

Countryside

Urban Vs. Rural

The impact of civil protective orders on reducing violence and abuse did not differ for rural and urban women. In rural areas where resources and services for partner violence may be more limited, the restraining orders hold greater importance.

Process for getting a restraining order


 

Step 1: Gather Evidence

The first step is to gather the evidence to support your case. The fallowing are considered as evidence of domestic violence

Evidence Type 1: Pending Criminal Case

Judges are also more likely to issue an order if there is an ongoing criminal case, therefore it’s important to call such cases out when seeking a temporary restraining order.

When a judge sees that there’s a criminal case happening, they might think it means the police or the district attorney are pretty sure they can prove the crime happened.

Examples of evidence are:

Evidence Type 2: Photos of violence, injuries, damage

These are the most common types of evidence submitted. These can be photos of victim’s injuries inflicted by the abuser. It is helpful to add photos next to the related incident description to help create a complete picture for the judge.

Evidence Type 3: Print outs of messages, emails or transcripts of voicemail

You can take screenshots of text messages and attach them. Similarly you can print emails and attach them as pictures or PDF files. While in most cases you cannot submit digital files such as

Evidence Type 4: 911 Calls

Rather than just saying you called 911 or any specific hotline, you can make your case stronger by listing the following items

  • The number dialed in case of the domestic hotline
  • The date and time (or approximate date and time) when the call was made
  • Who made the call
  • What was reported on the call
  • Any specific details of the person who answer the 911 call e.g. male/female voice

Evidence Type 5:  Medical Records

.You can attach documentation of previous medical emergencies or injuries that resulted from the actions of the abuser. These could be hospital visit records, print outs from your hospital portal (E.g. mychart) showing details of your visit.

Evidence Type 6:  Police reports

You can attach a copy of the police reports filed against abuser for domestic violence.

Evidence Type 7:  Testimony

  • A testimony from a witness. The witness can be anyone such as a family member, neighbor a co-worker or a bystander. The testimony is just an essay written describing the incidents witnessed, with as many specifics as possible.

Step 2: Get a copy of court forms 

In order to apply for a civil protection order, you need to fill and submit a specific set of official California court forms. These have questions aimed at understanding your situation and the people involved.

  1. DV-100: Request for Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DV-100)  The most important form is the DV-100 which formally asks the judge for a restraining order and tell the judge why you need one.
  2. CLETS-001: Confidential CLETS Information: The information on this form will help police enforce your restraining order. The court will not use the information on this form and the person you want a restraining order against will not get a copy.
  3. DV-109 Notice of Court Hearing: The court will complete most of this form. You only need to complete numbers 1 and 2.
  4. DV-110 Temporary Restraining Order: The court will complete most of this form. You only need to complete numbers 1, 2, and 3.
  5. FL-150: Use this form if you are asking for attorney’s fees, spousal support, or child support. This form asks how much money you earn and what your expenses are. Attach proof of your income (like paystubs) from the past two months to the form.
  6. DV-120: Response to Request for Domestic Violence Restraining Order
  7. DV-200: Proof of Personal Service (CLETS) Use this form to prove to the court that the restrained person has been served in person. Your server fills out and signs the form.

 

If you have children together, and also want child custody, parenting time, or child support orders:

  1. DV-105: Request for Child Custody and Visitation Orders: Ask the judge for custody orders if you have children with the person you want a restraining order against.
  2. DV-140 Child Custody and Visitation Order: On form DV-140, complete items 1 and 2 and the judge will complete the rest of this form. If you are asking for the parent to be supervised during their visits with your child, you will also need form DV-150. Complete items 1 and 2 on form DV-150 and the judge will complete the rest of this form.
  3. DV-108: Optional: Request for Order: No Travel With Children.
    If you believe that the other parent may take your child without your permission, you can ask the court to protect against this. To ask a judge for orders to prevent child abduction, you must complete form DV-108.  This form is optional because you do not have to ask for these orders if you want to ask for custody.
  4. ChildrenDV-145 On form DV-145, complete items 1 and 2. If the judge grants your request, the judge will complete the rest of this form and include it with form DV-110. This form is optional because you do not have to ask for these orders if you want to ask for custody.

The complete set of documents is at the California Courts website. While these forms are used in most courts, certain courts use modified versions of these forms, and its important to uses those versions.

Tip: You can check your local court’s website to see the exact versions and set of court forms needed. You need to prepare these forms. Courts also offers a free self help center where you can take forms. Alternatively you can use a free website such as LegalAtoms to prepare the restraining orders paperwork online.

 

Nothing happens until you file the forms. So its a good idea to step through the forms even if you think you don’t plan to file for a protection order right now, to get

You can then file them online when you’ve thought through all aspects.  There are special protections for victims, and you’re protected even if your immigration status is undocumented in United States.

 

Step 3: File the Court Forms 

Submit your case documents at the court such that the clerk reviews their corrects and accepts them is called filing.

Identify the court at your county

In California, one typically file at the Superior Court at county of your residence or where the abuse occurred. For example, if you live in San Francisco city, then the Superior Court of California, County of San Francisco.  There can be many special cases and fine print but that is the most common case. Please consult a lawyer if your situation is uncommon e.g. the abuser is overseas or you are overseas and the abuser is in California.

Correct location

Within the Superior Court of a county, there may be one location such as Superior Court of San Francisco OR multiple locations such as the one in San Bernardino, and each court has it’s own system so that you must file at the correct location.

For example here are some of the locations of the Superior Courts in California at San Bernardino County which are

  • Needles District: 1111 Bailey Ave Needles, CA 92363
  • Rancho Cucamonga District: 8303 Haven Avenue Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91730
  • Victorville District: 14455 Civic Drive Victorville, CA 92392
  • San Bernardino District: 351 North Arrowhead Avenue San Bernardino CA 92415

 

There are rules provided by the court to figure out where you should file. Some times the court depends on the zip code e.g. here’s the scheme from Superior Court of California at San Diego.

Please refer to the Zip Code List (SDSC Form # ADM-254PDF) for most family law cases, including Non-Governmental Child Support, Custody and Visitation, Divorce (Dissolution), Domestic Violence Restraining Orders, and Paternity cases. Some exceptions to the Zip Code List are noted below. 

Methods of Filing


Method # 1: In Person:

Your court location would accept the forms to be submitted in person at the court hours.

Tip: All courts have lunch hours when they are closed for an hour

When you submit your case documents at the court, typically you take 3 copies.

The clerks reviews it, and if everything is ok, they formally enter it into the court system and put a stamp near the top of the documents. That acceptance is called filing.

The stamp may look something like this:

MANDATORY EFILING OF FAMILY LAW CASES EFFECTIVE NOVEMBER 15, 2021

Method # 2:  Electronically via a portal

Some counties now have one or more online portals where you create an account for free, and then you can upload documents and hit submit. You will be required to pay around $5-$10 filing fees.

Method # 3:  Via another person 

Some counties accept filing via a friend or legal courier. These companies or individuals charge a flat or hourly fee and file the documents at the court.

Step 4: Get a Temporary Order 

Depending on the facts and evidence presented, a Judge can issue a restraining order with immediate effect until the hearing, called an Emergency Temporary Order.  In relatively less risky situations, a temporary order is issued in a few days.

If there are no grounds or if the application is incomplete or the jurisdiction is incorrect the application may be rejected.

The temporary order is only valid for about 3 weeks which is the amount of time until the hearing. If the hearing is delayed for any reason, you need to check with the court to ensure the temporary order is renewed until the hearing.

Step 5: Serve the abuser 

If you were successful in getting a temporary order only then this step is necessary, otherwise you will have to wait until you get one.

Youve Been Served GIFs | Tenor

In the California legal system system, whenever one party initiates a restraining order it needs to inform or serve the other party formally by delivering the court documents. That step is called serving the respondent, and is often seen in movies and TV shows as “You’ve been served”.

Under the California law there are multiple ways in which the other party can be served.

 

You cannot  serve your papers yourself.

Option 1:  Ask a Cop (FREE)

A sheriff or marshal can serve the opposing party for you which is a big help. This service is offered for FREE. You will however need the address of the abuser. To ask the sheriff to serve your papers, you must have an address or location for the other side (restrained person). If the other side is in jail, the sheriff can serve them. If the other side is in prison in California, prison staff, not the sheriff, will serve your papers. Follow the instructions by the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation for serving someone in prison

 

Option 2: Ask a friend, relative or any adult (FREE)

You ask someone you know to be your server

  • 18 or over, and
  • not part of your case

Think about safety when choosing your server. Get step-by-step instructions for how to have someone else, not the sheriff, serve your court papers.

 

Option 3: Hire a specialized courier

You can also hire a courier called  professional process server. You can search on Yelp or Google to get a list of options near you. Yelp Example . An example is ABC Legal Services.

You cannot hire regular couriers such as UPS, FedEx or US Postal Service unless in exceptional scenarios where the judge authorizes service by mail, but that’s a whole different topic altogether.

Step 6: Present Evidence in a Court Hearing 

Attend a hearing: The court holds a hearing within a couple of weeks where the evidence is examined. If there is sufficient supporting evidence as determined by a Judge, a full restraining order is issued. At this point it becomes a crime for the abuser to break the conditions of the restraining order.

 

L.A. County court to staff: Get COVID vaccine or get fired - Los Angeles Times

 

Step 7. Collect the Final Order

After the hearing, a final order may be issued. You can take a paper copy of the order with you. The order is typically valid for five years.

Costs


There are no costs associated with a Domestic Violence Restraining Order.

  • FREE forms : You can get the court forms for free, or prepare them using the guided experience below.
  • FREE filing: There is fees for filing. Online filing platforms may charge a service fees

 

How long does it take to get a restraining order


You can get a temporary protection order the same day as you file.

Courts can have a cutoff of around 2 p.m.  for the same day service, so you need to file before then. Otherwise, the order would be issued the following day when courts open.

Courts are generally open Monday-Friday and closed on Saturday-Sunday.

The temporary order is valid until a formal hearing is held in which both parties need to be present. Typically a hearing is scheduled in 2 weeks of filing.

At the hearing a formal order may be issued

 

Risks


It is conceivable that following the submission of a civil protection order, the abuser particularly in domestic violence situations may react with anger due to the perceived loss of control over you and your household. In certain instances, the abuser may portray themselves as the victim and shift blame onto the actual victim they were mistreating.

The response of your abuser after the filing of a protection order is unpredictable. While a Domestic Violence Protection Order (DVPO) can provide legal protection, one should not automatically assume that it guarantees safety. The initial weeks post-filing can be particularly precarious, contingent on your abuser’s reaction.

Despite the safeguards intended by a DVPO, abusers may retaliate through various means, such as:

  1. Physical assault or violence
  2. Harming or taking away children
  3. Damaging jointly owned property
  4. Disregarding the order and persisting with threats, possibly through intermediaries
  5. Inflicting harm or causing harm to pets
  6. Harassing your loved ones for information
  7. Engaging in stalking behavior
  8. Initiating a retaliatory restraining order against you
  9. Spreading false information about you in court documents, online, or publicly

Following the submission of a domestic violence Protection order, it’s important to continuously assess your situation and prepare for the potential escalation of your case into more violent territory.

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Create & E-file Restraining Order Forms

Free online service, sponsored by courts, for victims without lawyers. You will be guided through all steps including court location and E-filing.


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