Recently updated on March 11th, 2025 at 08:28 pm

Common situations that may lead someone to request a restraining order against a sibling often involve patterns of abusive, threatening, or harmful behavior such as

1. Physical Abuse: One sibling physically harms another, including hitting, shoving, or any form of physical assault. This behavior can create fear for the victim’s safety and qualify as domestic violence under Virginia law.
2. Verbal or Emotional Abuse: Continuous verbal assaults, such as name-calling, threats, or intimidation. If a sibling is engaging in behavior that mentally or emotionally destabilizes the other, this can be grounds for a restraining order.
3. Threats and Coercion: A sibling threatens bodily harm or uses intimidation to control or coerce the other sibling. This includes threats of violence, threats to ruin someone’s reputation, or threats to harm pets or property.
4. Stalking or Harassment: Repeated unwanted contact, whether in person, through text messages, social media, or other means, can be considered harassment. Stalking behaviors, such as following the sibling, monitoring their activities, or showing up uninvited, may also justify a restraining order.
5. Drugs, Alcohol or Other Addiction Related Violence: When a sibling’s substance abuse leads to violent or erratic behavior that puts others at risk, including situations where the sibling may be under the influence and threatens or harms others.
6. Property Damage: If a sibling intentionally destroys personal property to intimidate or retaliate against the other, this could be part of a pattern of abuse justifying a restraining order.
7. Control and Manipulation Coercive control, such as isolating a sibling from friends and family, controlling their movements, or monitoring their communications. This can also include financial control, where a sibling takes money or resources without consent.

In Virginia, a Family Abuse Protective Order can be requested by your county court online, informing the other party, attending a hearing, and presenting evidence to support the request for the order.  Initial paperwork can also be done in person at the court.  The process involves filing a set of standard court forms issued by the Supreme Court of Virginia

Create PFA Forms Online

A domestic violence or Family Abuse Protective Order is a last warning for those abusing spouses, partners, cohabitating individuals, family members, and intimate or dating relationships, regardless of living arrangements.  It requires the abuse to stop and the abuser to stay away and not contact the victims, or face criminal charges and jail time.

Under Virginia law,  Va. Code § 16.1-253.4 , domestic violence, or family abuse, happens when a family or household member does something violent, forceful, or threatening that causes physical harm or makes you fear for your safety. This includes actions like detention, stalking, sexual assault, or any crime that causes injury or makes you fear for your life or safety.

These orders have a fixed duration but can be extended if the threat persists.

Protective orders serve as a crucial tool in breaking the cycle of abuse and reclaiming control over one’s life. They offer a sense of security and support for individuals navigating difficult situations of domestic violence.

Different types of Family Abuse Protective Orders apply in situations of domestic violence, stalking, harassment, or situations where there is a credible threat to an individual’s safety.

If a person believes their situation qualifies for Family Abuse Protective Order as defined in Virginia Civil Code, they can apply for one.

Step 1: Does my situation remotely resembles what’s needed for a Protection From Abuse Order

Abuse

Abuse is not limited to the actual infliction of physical injury or assault.

Qualifying Relationships for Domestic Violence

1.  Spouse: A spouse or former spouse such as husband or wife, registered domestic partners

2.  Cohabitants: Couples who are in a relationship and living together without the benefit of marriage are known as cohabitants under Virginia law. It does NOT include roommates without romantic relationship.

This term is defined in the Virginia Code Section 6209.

3.  Past or Current Romantic Relationship: A person with whom the respondent is having or has had a dating or engagement relationship.

4.  Coparent: A person with whom the respondent has had a child

5.  Close Family: Parents, children, stepparents, and stepchildren. Siblings, grandparents, and grandchildren.

What if I am Under 18 years of Age

Yes minors can still file Family Abuse Protective Orders  themselves if they can demonstrate sufficient maturity and the circumstances warrant immediate protection. You may need to consult the court clerk or a legal advocate to confirm whether this applies in your case.

In most cases, a parent, legal guardian, or another adult acting on your behalf may need to assist in filing the petition. Courts typically require an adult to act as the petitioner if the victim is a minor.

What if the abuser lives out of Virginia 

A non-Virginia resident who abuses a Virginia resident may be subject to the state’s jurisdiction. That means that a Virginia court can make orders prohibiting a non-Virginia resident from further abusing a Virginia resident. Abuse committed by out-of-state parties subjects them to this state’s personal jurisdiction.

An act of abuse by a party in another state against a person in Virginia is subject to “special regulation” in this state and is sufficient to vest personal jurisdiction in the Virginia courts over the out-of-state party to enjoin any further such conduct.

Situation Examples

Example 1:  Husband is sexually and verbally abusive, and controlling  

My husband doesn’t allow me the option to say no to sex, and often that warning is not explicit but I know bad things will happen if I say no such as bullying, threats and immense tension. As a couple we have been having sex everyday for nearly two decades now.  He verbally abuses me by calling me a whore if I don’t sleep with him.  During this time he is intoxicated so I am fearful of having a discussion as his anger will quickly get out of control, and he will hurl things at home thereby inducing more fear in me. Such behavior has been going on for over a decade now so I am not sure about the date of the first incident now. One day I very carefully chose my words and mentioned that maybe we are not a right fit, and should seek counseling. He was enraged and threated me that he will utterly destroy me, my work reputation, and expose some minor things I did to the immigration authorities.  Since about six months, I have been sleeping in a separate room. He comes there routinely and tries to sleep with me forcefully.   Often times I feel that if I resist, or decline his advances that my reputation, our property, or even me life will me in danger.  I feel little, humiliated and disgusted with myself.

Example 2:  Boyfriend blackmails and destroys property to control and induce fear

Today, Michael was armed with a pistol and seemed to be under the influence of an unidentified substance. He made threats to create false narratives with the aim of jeopardizing my 28-year accounting career, stating he would falsely accuse me of engaging in illegal financial activities. His menacing statement, “if you mess with me, I’ll retaliate,” was accompanied by destructive actions, such as damaging property in my home, including creating a hole in the wall. Michael’s behavior becomes particularly alarming when he is under the influence of drugs.

Example 3: Ex-boyfriend stalks 

Jenna’s ex-boyfriend shows up at Jenna’s work unexpectedly and drives around. Jenna is fearful, and had earlier clearly asked him to leave her alone.

There are a few different types of Family Abuse Protective Orders and typically only one of them may apply to your situation so it’s important to select the correct one.

Gather Evidence

The first step is to gather the evidence to support your case. What proof do you need for a Family Abuse Protective Order in Virginia. The following are examples to help you organize though anything that supports your claims can be used.

Step 2: Get a copy of court forms 

In order to apply for a Family Abuse Protective Order, you need to fill and submit a specific set of official Virginia court forms. These have questions aimed at understanding your situation and the people involved.

Step 3: File with the County’s Court

Filing is the process which means the following steps

1. Formally submitting the case documents at the court with the office of the clerk
2. The clerk reviews and verifies the correctness of forms and completeness of the required info
3. Clerk enters the case in the court database, stamps the documents and assigns a case #

County (Venue)
The proper venue for a Family Abuse Protective Order case is the county where the abuse took place or where the restrained party lives. However, venue is a defensive motion and should be considered by the court only if the restrained party objects by filing a noticed motion for change of venue at or before the time of responding to the request.

Determine the Court 

If you’re filing for a Family Abuse Protective Order in Fairfax County, Virginia, you should go to the

Fairfax County Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court
4110 Chain Bridge Road
Fairfax, VA 22030

Identify the methods of Filing

Method # 1: In Person by visiting the court house

Your court location would accept the forms to be submitted in person at the court hours.

Tip: All courts have lunch hours when they are closed for an hour

When you submit your case documents at the court, typically you take 3 copies.

The clerks reviews it, and if everything is ok, they formally enter it into the court system and put a stamp near the top of the documents. That acceptance is called filing.

The stamp may look something like this:

Method # 2: E-file online

This is the most efficient option if you have an e-mail address and some basic computer skills like registering an account, and uploading PDF files.

Some counties now have one or more online portals where you create an account for free, and then you can upload documents and hit submit.

You will be required to some online service fees.

Method # 3: Via another person 

Some counties accept filing via a friend or legal courier. These companies or individuals charge a flat or hourly fee and file the documents at the court.

Step 4: Judge Sets Hearing, Grant/Deny Preliminary Protective Order (PPO)

A judge reviews the case offline and then you will be notified by the court about the outcomes which are:

• Preliminary Protective Order Granted
• Preliminary Protective Order Denied

In addition the Judge would typically set a hearing. If the case doesn’t have sufficient evidence it might be dismissed without even a hearing.

The temporary order (if issued) is valid until the hearing i.e. typically about 3 weeks. If the hearing is delayed for any reason, you need to check with the court to ensure the temporary order is renewed until the hearing to provide you with legal protection.

Step 5: Serve a set of Stamped Case Forms including Hearing Notice to Abuser 

Whenever one party initiates a Family Abuse Protective Order it needs to inform or serve the other party formally by delivering the court documents. That step is called serving the respondent

Under the Virginia law there are multiple ways in which the other party can be served.

You cannot  serve your papers yourself.

Option 1:  Ask the Sheriff (FREE)

A sheriff or marshal can serve the opposing party for you which is a big help. This service is offered for FREE. To ask the sheriff to serve your papers, you must have an address or location for the other side (restrained person). If the other side is in jail, the sheriff can serve them. If the other side is in prison in Virginia, prison staff, not the sheriff, will serve your papers. Follow the instructions by the Virginia Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation for serving someone in prison

Option 2: Ask a friend, relative or any adult (FREE)

You ask someone you know to be your server

• 18 or over, and
• not part of your case

Think about safety when choosing your server. Get step-by-step instructions for how to have someone else, not the sheriff, serve your court papers.

Option 3: Hire a courier for legal papers (Process Server)  

You can also hire a courier called  professional process server. You can search on Yelp or Google to get a list of options near you. Yelp Example . An example is ABC Legal Services.

You cannot hire regular couriers such as UPS, FedEx or US Postal Service unless in exceptional scenarios where the judge authorizes service by mail, but that’s a whole different topic altogether.

Step 6: Present Evidence in a Court Hearing 

Attend a hearing: The court holds a hearing within a couple of weeks where the evidence is examined. If there is sufficient supporting evidence as determined by a Judge, a full Family Abuse Protective Order is issued. At this point it becomes a crime for the abuser to break the conditions of the Family Abuse Protective Order.

Step 7. Collect the Final Order

After the hearing, a final order may be issued. You can take a paper copy of the order with you. The order is typically valid for five years.

Costs – How much does it cost to get a Family Abuse Protective Order

The cost for a Family Abuse Protective Order are

• FREE forms : You can get the court forms for free, or prepare them using the guided experience below.
• FREE filing: There is no fees for filing in person. Online filing platforms may charge a E-filing fees
• FREE Serving the other party 

How long does it take to get a Family Abuse Protective Order from filing ?

You can get a temporary protection order the same day as you file.

Courts can have a cutoff of around 2 p.m.  for the same day service, so you need to file before then. Otherwise, the order would be issued the following day when courts open.

Courts are generally open Monday-Friday and closed on Saturday-Sunday.

The temporary order is valid until a formal hearing is held in which both parties need to be present. Typically a hearing is scheduled in 2 weeks of filing.

At the hearing a formal order may be issued

Is a Family Abuse Protective Order helpful?

The purpose of a Family Abuse Protective Order is to restrict the contact or proximity of one person (the respondent or alleged perpetrator) to another person (the petitioner or victim) in order to ensure the safety and well-being of the petitioner.

The specific terms of a Family Abuse Protective Order can vary depending on the circumstances of the case e.g. if the people live together then it might require one party to vacate the place.

Typically, a Family Abuse Protective Order may prohibit the respondent from

1. Approaching or contacting the petitioner including via text or social media
2. Staying away from the usual places petitioner is at such as home, work or school
3. Prohibit stalking, or surveillance of any kind
4. In situations where they lived together, provide custody or access to
   • Children
   • Pets
   • Important documents
   • Personal items such as clothes, medications, cell phones
   • Cars
5. Extending the protections to others living with the petitioner

Research findings on benefits of Family Abuse Protective Orders

Risks of a Family Abuse Protective Order

It is conceivable that following the submission of a civil protection order, the abuser particularly in domestic violence situations may react with anger due to the perceived loss of control over you and your household. In certain instances, the abuser may portray themselves as the victim and shift blame onto the actual victim they were mistreating.

The response of your abuser after the filing of a protection order is unpredictable. While a Domestic Violence Protection Order (DVPO) can provide legal protection, one should not automatically assume that it guarantees safety. The initial weeks post-filing can be particularly precarious, contingent on your abuser’s reaction.

Despite the safeguards intended by a DVPO, abusers may retaliate through various means, such as:

1. Physical assault or violence
2. Harming or taking away children
3. Damaging jointly owned property
4. Disregarding the order and persisting with threats, possibly through intermediaries
5. Inflicting harm or causing harm to pets
6. Harassing your loved ones for information
7. Engaging in stalking behavior
8. Initiating a retaliatory Family Abuse Protective Order against you
9. Spreading false information about you in court documents, online, or publicly

Following the submission of a domestic violence Protection order, it’s important to continuously assess your situation and prepare for the potential escalation of your case into more violent territory.